


you still haven't caught me

by Gozufucker



Category: New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: Alternate Universe, Calling Card, Gozufucker can't tag: the taggening., M/M, Phantom Thief!Ouma, Stealing, Stealing a first, based on the love hotel scene, well i mean saihara's still a detective
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-19
Updated: 2017-02-19
Packaged: 2018-09-25 11:25:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,260
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9818240
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gozufucker/pseuds/Gozufucker
Summary: This time, Saihara will get him. Or will he?





	

**Author's Note:**

> So I wanted to write something and then I remembered that Ouma's love hotel was a pretty nice AU prompt. No spoilers here!

The climb was always the most difficult part of breaking and entering, scaling up the stone wall of the museum with surefire grasps, occasionally grasping for a while before latching onto that ledge he thought he'd never find. Not that Ouma suspected his own ability to enter the museum, after all, this heist had been planned to the apex by him and his comrades. He had taken the job in a stride; break in, get the goods, and then leave. He'd even ordered his lackeys to not come with him. He wanted this evening to be... Special.

Once Ouma reached the roof, the fun began. The master thief reached for his belt of tools, flipping through them absentmindedly while humming some tune he'd heard come from the radio. Ah, here we go. The glass cutter. He felt his finger against the tool, tracing about until he squatted down in front of a hatch, placing the glass cutter down against the class. With careful movements he cut and traced until he managed to rid of a sizable enough chunk, flipping his hand under to open the hatch from the inside. After some struggling he managed, stepping back and staring down the open hatch. This should be a passageway used by the janitor, if he remembered the blueprints correctly. 

It was sink or swim here. The blueprints had made no specific mention of security cameras in this area, but you never knew with dated material... Whatever. Ouma didn't much care for the matter, quickly hopping down and sliding down the ladder, letting out a quiet "oof" as he landed, dusting himself off. He quickly grabbed his mask from the bag and placed it onto his face, nishishing his way through the janitor's segment. The blueprints were accurate! He'd have to give Momo a pat on the back once he got back to base with his treasure.

Thankfully, he'd chosen the best entry point for his excursion into the museum. Just a few turns and he'd already reach what he was looking, although one obstacle laid on his path. Ouma lowered the blueprints and stared at a barrier of lasers. This was so cliche it hurt, but he couldn't help but laugh about the matter. After all, would he be considered a master thief if something like this stopped him? He set his bag down for a moment and took out a few small mirrors, meticulously placing them down and stacking them until there was a small hole in the laser barrier he could crawl through. He swung the bag about and chucked it over the barrier, crawling under it after. He wiped some sweat from the behind of his ear and sighed. He's at the goal.

The Sarcophagus of Tutan Ra, and more importantly, his two golden scepters encrusted with diamonds, rubies, and other such gems. Ouma walked over to the sarcophagus and knocked on the door, listening for a moment if anyone would come out. "Nishishi..." He had to get his own amusement somehow. His head turned towards the two scepters, laid out against the wall, protected only by a glass barrier. Usually, guards would be stationed here, yet during the dead of the night such luxuries weren't available. The cameras might've been a problem... If he hadn't had his team hack the feed around this time. He could get a little help from the outside before things became unfair.

Just as Ouma laid his fingers against the glass, he could hear a rustle from behind him. Odd, but behind him was only... He looked over his shoulder, the expressionless clown mask staring as...

The coffin opened in a fell swoop, the usual suspect pointing his gun out at Ouma without hesitation, squinting and pulling his cap to the side, revealing one eye that stared Ouma down in the dark lightning of the room. The glass above them let the moonlight shine upon this meeting, creating a singular circle of light in the middle of the room that illuminated the area around it. The gunslinger opened his mouth to speak out.

"Saihara-chaaaaan!"

Only for Ouma to run over and hug the detective, causing him to blabber out words at a rapid pace, the gun dropping onto the floor. Just like usual.

"G-Gah! Get off me!"

Saihara patted down at Ouma's shoulders, barely managing to get the phantom thief to back up a few inches, giving the detective some breathing room. He groveled and squirmed at the fact that Ouma still didn't let go of him, hands tightly wrapped around him, the expressionless clown mask staring up at him with those creepy eyes. Saihara looked to the side, a lone bead of sweat going down his cheek.

"Give it up, Ouma. This time, you can't get awa--"

Ouma interrupted by flicking Saihara's nose, grinning.

"Nishishi! Saihara-chan was pretty smart by hiding in the coffin! This time you really, really got me! I just knocked on it as a joke, but you probably thought I caught -you-, huh? So, who let out that I was coming here? Or did Saihara-chan do the usual and stalk me around the world until he finally got lucky? That's pretty creepy and desperate of you, nishishi!" 

Saihara grew a red hue on his face that was barely shown with the lighting around them, trying to look for an exit in a bothered manner. "Don't try and worm out of it this time... It took a lot of meticulous checking and tracking, but I only did it with a p-professional interest!"

Ouma turned them around suddenly and shoved Saihara to the middle of the room to illuminate him completely, before then walking over and leaning forwards, grinning beneath the clown mask.

"Nishshi. The way you say that, "p-professional," makes it sound like you reaaaallly just wanted to see me again! You're a horrible liar, you know. You should take some lessons with me, I'm sure I could teach you all about how to be the best liar!" 

Ouma closed the distance at a speed that almost felt scary, hand trailing Saihara's side. The detective lowered his hand and took the other's in a rough-ish hold, frowning despite the blush. A moment of silence reigned as the two stood there in moonlight, until Saihara spoke again, eyes having located the gun he had dropped.

"I'm not going to let you go this time... You've already done enough to be in jail for years. I might not have my gun anymore, but if I can just keep you here for ten or so more minutes, I can..."

Ouma lifted a finger to Saihara's lips, causing the other to sputter out and flush even more. Ouma grinned beneath the mask. The detective's reactions were always so cute when they played their little game of cat and mouse, although sometimes Ouma felt like he was playing both the role of the mouse and the cat, especially when he got close to Saihara. That eerie, annoying AND childish snicker left him once more.

"Can what? Bring me to justice? Geez, Saihara-chan! You're like an old tape recorder that's stuck playing the same tunes over and over. You know, we could do so much more together if you just gave up that shiny badge," Ouma ran his finger down Saihara's shirt, stopping at the badge, playing and tracing along it in smooth motions, following the curves of it. "and came with me! You'd be a happier man, and we could play a lot more..."

Saihara's face lost a little of the flush and gained a serious tone to it as he tightened his grip on Ouma's hand. "Absolutely not! I'd never give up my duties, especially after being trained so hard by my... Uncle..."

Oh no. He knew what that shiver on Ouma's hand meant. He could see it happening already. The thief's body shivered, a quiet hiccup leaving him, soon followed by an ugly snort that sounded like a pig that had a bad case of the flu. Saihara lifted his free hand defensively in an attempt to shield himself from what was to come, but he was not prepared at all.

"UWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"

The loud howl echoed trough the room, bouncing from wall to wall, brick to brick, causing Saihara to release Ouma, stumbling back a few steps and covering his ears, accidentally letting go of Ouma's hand.

"S-Saihara-chan's so mean! Hurting me like this when we're just p-playing a game! UWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"

The hellish howling just kept up as Saihara tried to recollect his thoughts, eventually managing to gain enough courage to take a few steps back over to Ouma, trying to reach a hand to the other's shoulder. Once he was sure Ouma wouldn't swat the hand away he placed it down and held it there calmly, staring down at the expressionless mask that hid a flow of tears that had already made Ouma's trademark checkerboard scarf look all wet and ugly.

"Please, stop crying. I'm sorry... Being so rough was unprofessional of me."

Why is he apologizing to a criminal he's been trying to catch for months now. Despite that thought, he smiles a little when the waterworks seem to stop, silence reigning. Until that noise comes out again, gurgling from the back of Ouma's throat.

"Nishishi. Is Saihara-chan this crude and rough with all the boys he likes, or am I a special case?" Ouma tilted his head to the side, smiling beneath the mask. "That really hurt! Or, well. That was a lie."

Saihara let out a loud sigh. Why'd he even trust the bandit in the first place? Just as his mouth opened to spout out more procedure and how Ouma had no chance to escape, he was shushed by Ouma lifting a finger, shifting his mask to the side, revealing his grinning face to Saihara for the first time during this encounter. Not that this was the first time the thief and the detective had come face to face, but this was the first time they were so close during an event like this. 

"Nishishi. I know what you're going to say, Saihara-chan." Ouma waggled his finger knowingly and winked. "You're going to say that if I give in now, you might be able to negotiate me a fairer sentence, riiight? And if I tell on my comrades, I'll get an even smaller cake, riiight? And you're going to say that the police are waiting outside to question me, riiight?"

Saihara blinked and pulled his hat down. "T-That's right..."

The camera system sprung back to life. Not that it was required anymore, considering Saihara did have Ouma trapped. Or did he? 

"Saihara-chan... Maybe I will..."

Saihara's eyes lit up. Had he finally gotten through? That thought only lasted a moment as Ouma suddenly moved his face close to his, hot breath brushing against his face as the mask was lifted to cover their faces from the all seeing eye of the cameras. The moment only lasted for a few moments, but it was enough to imprint itself into Saihara's mind forever. The taste of the other's lips...

"Nishishi."

And that sound would forever play back when he thought of this moment. With a sudden shove from Ouma, the detective stumbled back and right against the laser barrier, triggering the alarm, along with the automatically shutting gates. Ouma dropped his mask (the usual calling card), ran past the knocked down Saihara, swooping his hat as he went, and set out for a run. The gates shut down behind him one by one, he could hear the barking of the hounds in the distance, the policemen rushing through the halls, only to be stopped by the barriers. 

He barely managed to reach the ladder he'd used to enter the museum, climbing up onto the roof, only to be met with the blinding light of a helicopter flying around the museum, the pilot spotting Ouma as he inched closer to the edge of the building.

"Freeze! We have the building surrounded!"

Ouma looked around. It was true. Police were everywhere with their hounds and their cars, and even a helicopter?! My, Saihara must've sold his glory high to the local police force. He should thank him for the excitement the next time they met. Ouma bowed down and tipped Saihara's hat to the helicopter, dropping down the edge. For a moment he imagined he'd splatter onto the ground and sprawl out, only to feel the calm thump of being caught. One of his masked henchmen set him down, quickly opening up the back door of the van they had arrived in. Ouma casually stepped in and yawned, taking a seat as they drove off the scene of the crime, police none the wiser.

"How'd it go, boss?"

Momo stared over to him, only to earn another yawn in response.

"Nishishi. Saihara-chan stopped me before I could steal the scepters... But don't worry, I stole something important from Saihara-chan." The phantom thief lifted a finger to his lips, snickering.

Saihara stared up at the moon through the glass of the roof, sighing. His hat'd been stolen, his first kiss had been stolen, and his dignity had been dashed by the phantom thief once more. He lifted a fist and slammed it down against the granite floor of the museum, listening to the sirens blare outside. This was yet another failure on his part, but...

Why didn't he feel mad? No matter the situation, this wouldn't be the last time he'd see the phantom thief. 

"Next time, I'll catch him for sure..."


End file.
